Marriage Success ...

Success in marriage will depend largely on our ability to focus on improving ourselves, rather than trying to reshape our spouse.

And it all starts way before the wedding ceremony.

Spencer W. Kimball said: “In selecting a companion for life and for eternity, certainly the most careful planning and thinking and praying and fasting should be done to be sure that, of all the decisions, this one must not be wrong. Why? Because in true marriage, there must be a union of minds as well as of hearts. And this can be very challenging.”

The choice of an eternal companion is up to each individual.

The decision of who to marry is the most important decision one will ever make in his entire life; more important that a college course, a career, or a business investment. Why? Because this decision will not only have an effect on the quality of your present life, moreover, it will greatly and significantly have a bearing in the quality of life of your children and their children's children.

Thus, this decision will have to be made with both your heart and your head. In other words, it has to feel right (heart) and make sense (mind).

On Valentine’s Day, there are billions of little candy hearts produced—you’ve seen them—with words on them like “my girl,” “kiss me,” “she’s cute,” and, of course, “I love you.”

What are you looking for in your sweetheart? If you could print your own candy hearts to describe the ideal man or woman, what would you look for?

The Lord said, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another” (John 13:34). To love as He loved is different from the way the world loves.

The Lord, in 1 Corinthians 13, listed behaviors that should exist between sweethearts as a foundation for a strong and happy marriage.

True love—charity—suffereth long.

• Is patient instead of impatient and tolerant of imperfections instead of intolerant.

• Is helpful instead of being critical of weaknesses. Charity does not criticize, is not cranky, and does not complain.

True love is kind.

• Is happy, thoughtful, helpful, interested in others, a good Samaritan, merciful, and true love gives comfort.

True love envieth not.

• Is content, frugal, and grateful for blessings; is not covetous, resentful, jealous, or greedy; avoids unnecessary debt; and is a full tithe payer. Charity is not selfish or vain, and it lives within its income.

True love is not puffed up.

• Is humble and teachable, does not seek attention, praises others, does not murmur or belittle.

True love doth not behave itself unseemly.

• Is courteous, well-mannered, reverent, respectful, and mindful, as well as clean, neat, and considerate of other’s property and feelings; is not crude, indecent, or improper.

True love seeketh not her own.

• Is tenderhearted, caring, sharing, sensitive, compassionate, generous, and united; thinks we, not I; listens; seeks to please God; is not demanding, controlling, or manipulative; does not blame; and says, “I’m sorry.”


True love is not easily provoked.

• Is forgiving, patient, calm, gentle, and respectful; is a peacemaker who does not get angry, irritable, or vengeful; is not abusive in word or deed; does not swear or quarrel.

True love thinketh no evil.

• Is not judgmental but respectful and trusting, pure and obedient; does not think evil of others by gossiping or finding fault; is modest in thought, dress, and speech; is not deceitful, cruel, or dishonest; avoids inappropriate music, pornography, and dirty jokes.

True love rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.

• Has a temple recommend and wants an eternal marriage; stays close to the Spirit through regular scripture study and prayer; is responsible; is not light-minded.

True love beareth all things.

• Is bold and patient with affliction and trials (this does not mean that abuse victims should silently bear cruelty or follow a spouse who is disobedient to God); is grateful; does not insult others; is not defensive, irritable, touchy, or grouchy; is not weary in well-doing.

True love believeth all things.

• Is cheerful; sees the eternal potential of a spouse; makes the least of the worst and the most of the best; shows by actions that there is a firm belief in eternal families; holds fast to the iron rod; has goals, dreams, a vision, and plans for a happy, successful life together.

True love hopeth all things.

• Is an optimist who looks for the best; praises, builds up, and expresses affection.

True love endureth all things.

• Doesn’t complain or murmur, is steadfast, accepts responsibility, and is industrious while showing initiative.

True love never faileth.


May we all try harder to follow all these, and find ourselves in a loving and meaningful relationship.