Friday, August 28, 2009

A New Discovery!




Every night, as I end my day, I always resort to reading a good book or two at bedtime to relax myself. So far I enjoyed those moments and more so because I get to sleep thinking and wondering about how to apply the new learnings in my life. Experimenting on these newly discovered principles and theories have proven to be very rewarding, thus making reading a much anticipated activity for me.

By sheer accident, and much to my delight, I found a new "hobby"! So far it has de-stressed me (if there is such a word) wonderfully!

It all began when one fine afternoon after my class in XU CIT, my daughter Ella and I went to shop in a department store. As we walked, we came across a gondola displaying brightly colored nail polish. We call them "cutex" ... I really don't know why. Maybe that was the name used to refer to nail polish in general. Maybe that was a brand name before, just as we mistakenly refer to "toothpaste" as "colgate"!

And so I bought a few that first day ... and a few more the following day ... and a few more the next day!

I started doing my daughters' nails that very first night, and I never expected we'd enjoy coloring our nails. The greatest reward however was the bonding we've forged ... Me, their Mom, doing their nails while their Dad was watching Leverage and/or Numbers in the nearby computer station a few feet from where we were seated comfortably.

And so every night after that, after doing all my chores and my hands still wet and tired from doing the days' laundry and dishes, when everyone is done with their homework and chores, when most of them are in their rooms preparing for bed, and while I sit with my hubby in front of the computer while he watches a movie or as he surfs the net, I go about and color my fingernails.

One night I painted all ten in one shade; the next night alternately using two different colors. The third day was great! I painted each fingernail using different colors! Believe me, for no reason at all, I slept with a smile in my face ...

My hubby, a gentle critic, asked me one night if my nails would not be damaged by the consistent use of nail polish remover. He also asked, surely out of sheer curiosity, where I got the fashion sense, since I was using non-traditional colors like dark green and frosted blue and frosted violet. My daughters told him it's the "in" thing for most trendy young women. With that response from the trendy young women themselves, he looked at me and smiled ...

So there it goes ... a new and fun way to de-stress (is there such a word? I wonder ...) If you're up to the challenge, try it yourself! See if you'll have the same soothing and relaxing experience that I have enjoyed (and still continues to enjoy) until this day!

And by the way, I did not stop reading. Instead, now have to read longer because I have to wait for my nails to get dry before I can say my prayers, pull the covers, embrace my hubby, kiss him goodnight, and finally close my eyes.

Godspeed ♥

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Marriage Success ...




Success in marriage will depend largely on our ability to focus on improving ourselves, rather than trying to reshape our spouse.

And it all starts way before the wedding ceremony.

Spencer W. Kimball said: “In selecting a companion for life and for eternity, certainly the most careful planning and thinking and praying and fasting should be done to be sure that, of all the decisions, this one must not be wrong. Why? Because in true marriage, there must be a union of minds as well as of hearts. And this can be very challenging.”

The choice of an eternal companion is up to each individual.

The decision of who to marry is the most important decision one will ever make in his entire life; more important that a college course, a career, or a business investment. Why? Because this decision will not only have an effect on the quality of your present life, moreover, it will greatly and significantly have a bearing in the quality of life of your children and their children's children.

Thus, this decision will have to be made with both your heart and your head. In other words, it has to feel right (heart) and make sense (mind).

On Valentine’s Day, there are billions of little candy hearts produced—you’ve seen them—with words on them like “my girl,” “kiss me,” “she’s cute,” and, of course, “I love you.”

What are you looking for in your sweetheart? If you could print your own candy hearts to describe the ideal man or woman, what would you look for?

The Lord said, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another” (John 13:34). To love as He loved is different from the way the world loves.

The Lord, in 1 Corinthians 13, listed behaviors that should exist between sweethearts as a foundation for a strong and happy marriage.

True love—charity—suffereth long.

• Is patient instead of impatient and tolerant of imperfections instead of intolerant.

• Is helpful instead of being critical of weaknesses. Charity does not criticize, is not cranky, and does not complain.

True love is kind.

• Is happy, thoughtful, helpful, interested in others, a good Samaritan, merciful, and true love gives comfort.

True love envieth not.

• Is content, frugal, and grateful for blessings; is not covetous, resentful, jealous, or greedy; avoids unnecessary debt; and is a full tithe payer. Charity is not selfish or vain, and it lives within its income.

True love is not puffed up.

• Is humble and teachable, does not seek attention, praises others, does not murmur or belittle.

True love doth not behave itself unseemly.

• Is courteous, well-mannered, reverent, respectful, and mindful, as well as clean, neat, and considerate of other’s property and feelings; is not crude, indecent, or improper.

True love seeketh not her own.

• Is tenderhearted, caring, sharing, sensitive, compassionate, generous, and united; thinks we, not I; listens; seeks to please God; is not demanding, controlling, or manipulative; does not blame; and says, “I’m sorry.”


True love is not easily provoked.

• Is forgiving, patient, calm, gentle, and respectful; is a peacemaker who does not get angry, irritable, or vengeful; is not abusive in word or deed; does not swear or quarrel.

True love thinketh no evil.

• Is not judgmental but respectful and trusting, pure and obedient; does not think evil of others by gossiping or finding fault; is modest in thought, dress, and speech; is not deceitful, cruel, or dishonest; avoids inappropriate music, pornography, and dirty jokes.

True love rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.

• Has a temple recommend and wants an eternal marriage; stays close to the Spirit through regular scripture study and prayer; is responsible; is not light-minded.

True love beareth all things.

• Is bold and patient with affliction and trials (this does not mean that abuse victims should silently bear cruelty or follow a spouse who is disobedient to God); is grateful; does not insult others; is not defensive, irritable, touchy, or grouchy; is not weary in well-doing.

True love believeth all things.

• Is cheerful; sees the eternal potential of a spouse; makes the least of the worst and the most of the best; shows by actions that there is a firm belief in eternal families; holds fast to the iron rod; has goals, dreams, a vision, and plans for a happy, successful life together.

True love hopeth all things.

• Is an optimist who looks for the best; praises, builds up, and expresses affection.

True love endureth all things.

• Doesn’t complain or murmur, is steadfast, accepts responsibility, and is industrious while showing initiative.

True love never faileth.


May we all try harder to follow all these, and find ourselves in a loving and meaningful relationship.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Project: Whatsit Wednesday

Whatsit Wednesday is all about saying one sincere and honest compliment to two persons close to me ... for one whole year. This project will conclude on the 3rd Wednesday of August, 2010.

I've decided to compliment each person using only a word. So here it goes ...

For tomorrow, Wednesday, August 26, 2009 ...

Sarah - Independent.

April Ann - Reliable.

10 Traits to Look for In a Romantic Interest

10 Traits to Look for In a Romantic Interest

I found my love already, 24 years ago. But here's my list, and I'm making this as a tip to my four daughters who will someday meet that special someone ... and surely, this list can be very helpful to check them out ha ha ha!

1. Obedient
2. mature
3. loving
4. hopeful
5. grateful
6. honest
7. peaceful
8. thoughtful
9. sincere
10. positive

just wonderin' ...

I'm wondering why my entries/posts are always very lengthy .... I should try to write shorter ones ...

Noh?

Thursday, August 20, 2009

FROZEN COLD!

Dedicated to those who have been taught that entrepreneurship is the answer to the escalating problem of poverty … Is it?

This is my response to a letter I recently read from the Academy's blog. In that letter, the following questions were raised and were addressed to me and to more than one thousand others, the alumni of the Academy for Creating Enterprise.

Thank you for the thought-provoking questions. It propelled me to reflect on myself as a person and as an entrepreneur.

Why am I still an employee until now? Why haven’t I started my business yet? What’s keeping me from “firing”? Is it the lack of capital? Is it because of fear? If it is fear, fear of what? Is it the absence of a good business idea or opportunity? Was I not taught enough?

Those were tough questions to answer! As i contemplated on my answers to the questions raised, a floodgate of more questions opened ... questions like ...

Have you ever been in a situation where you know something needs to be done, you know you need to do it soon enough (if not fast enough), you know nobody else can do it for you but you yourself? Yet you come to realize you’re stuck, you can not seem to move, and the reason is simple: because you don't know where to begin, or how to begin!

I have been in such a situation, for quite some time now. I still was, up until a few weeks ago…

Why? What happened?

To answer the questions above, I had to ask myself three more follow up questions: Who am I? What kind of a person am I? Will the answers to these two questions show why I was in that vacuum for a long time? Let’s see …

A famous author named John C. Maxwell said that “Attitude Determines Latitude.” It simply means to succeed in life; one has to have the “right” attitude, because the “right attitude” is the difference maker!

The same author said that we must not be afraid to fail. He said that to succeed, one must learn how to “fail forward”. In the Academy we refer to our expected losses in business as “tuition fee”, a failure that is not really welcome but at times a great tool in learning.

It would be safe to say at this point that I have cultivated in myself the “right” attitude! I am an optimist, I always see opportunities in problems, and I try everyday to maintain my proactive nature.

Books written by great authors, I have aplenty… Books that motivate and inspire, books that teach and books that show how … I have a private library full of them! And I have read them all, not just once or twice, for I have even made presentations on all of them for the seminars and workshops that I conduct.

Academic qualifications is not also a problem. Recognized as a specialist in the field of business, I make a living out of sharing this knowledge to others.

Exposure to industry, I have ample experience, more than enough to give me confidence in my capabilities.

Support system, very extraordinary! Very supportive family and friends.

Network, amazing! I know the right people who are in the right places.

Yet, there I was, for the longest time, unable to really and completely “take the leap of faith” and join the bandwagon of the new and improved lds entrepreneurs, those of us who have been blessed enough to have been given the chance to be taught and trained in an institution wholly dedicated to improving the lives of the Filipino Saints thru entrepreneurship, the Academy.

Why? That one question seems to be THE million dollar question!

Reflecting on it, I came to realize that it was not the lack of knowledge that pegged me to inaction. It was something else.

Thinking about it, a lot of reasons began emerging. I hope as I enumerate them here, I will finally be able to point to THE main reason… I beg for your indulgence as I bring you along to journey with me in finding out where I failed … Because it has been said, and I know this to be true, that when we find the real problem, we are halfway towards finding the solution for it.

Why haven’t I taken the leap of faith? Why haven’t I “fired”?

1. I hanged on to employment because with it I felt financially secure. I wanted the security of receiving a pay check at month’s end for obvious reasons. So I had a part-time job as college instructor, a full-time/8-hour-job as Assistant to an Administrator, a consultancy with public offices as well as private entities, and a few other engagements that brought in money. And to think I only have 24 hours a day …

2. I loved my profession. I gave it all: my heart, might, mind, and strength. I belonged to an organization that I loved. I valued what I was doing there. For these reasons I did my best, gave my best. I gave of myself, my time, my talents, anything that I can offer in the spirit of service. I would be a hypocrite if I will say I was not hoping to be reciprocated. I wanted to be part of the organization full time. However, I came to realize that it was not a mutual thing. For whatever reason beyond my understanding, they did not want me in the manner I was hoping they would. With a sad heart and a hurting ego, I left. I said to myself that if I was not good enough as full time, then I might as well stop as part time.

When I did, it felt like I’ve lost everything that I’ve worked for, everything that I’ve really wanted, the very thing that I prayed for.

I lost the people I thought were my friends. I was true to them. I gave them a part of me.

I lost the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of my students in that school.

And sadly, I lost a part of me too!

They say our enemies stab us from behind. Well, my so called “friends” stabbed me in front!

3. My daily routine made me a prisoner or a rat in a rat race. The moment I woke up to the time I was ready for bed, all I did were the usual daily chores: my tasks at home and at work. I felt there was simply no time for other things … not just yet somehow … maybe later? Someone once said I was spreading myself too thinly! I guess that was a good observation, and it was true! I was doing so many things all at the same time.

4. I dedicated myself into becoming good (if not excellent) in what I did. I suppose there’s nothing wrong with that. However, I came to realize that doing so many things all at the same time made me a “generalist” rather that a “specialist”. I was jack of all trades, master of none. I was a management graduate with an MBA and will soon earn a doctorate degree in education. Three different fields of specialization in a very limited (in terms of opportunity) and hostile working environment (in terms of competition and workplace politics).

5. I have very limited resources. This is an overused statement or reason voiced by many would-be, struggling, and stuck-up entrepreneurs as the primary reason for inaction or the inability to start and fire.

Many would say however that this is the easiest problem to resolve. Rules of Thumb such as Think Big, Start Small and the principle behind the lemonade stand are often used to counter this wrong line of thinking. I have heard people say that an excellent business idea/concept, backed by a reliable feasibility study, can always attract investors. True.

But allow me to say a little more on this subject matter.

I believe that everything that happens to us happens for a reason. In my personal life and in my relationship with my husband, I have found rich evidences that these experiences, these happenings in our lives, are actually given for us to become better persons, for others.

Why haven’t I started yet my businesses?

For example, one of my dreams is to be able to open a training school for domestic helpers going abroad. Another is to open a pre school. Why is it that until now, these two still remains a dream?

My answer today would be …I don’t have the money to finance these businesses that I really love and believe in.

There it is again, the lack of capital.

And so you say …” if the business idea is good enough, then capitalization is not really a problem …”

Let me tell you this:

I know that these businesses, if I can bring them into reality, will be something to reckon with. My brain is overflowing with plans on how to enhance, how to differentiate, etc., etc., I can even see it already ... smell it. I can not wait to start. I already have a business plan. I made a feasibility study on these already.


So, tell me now, where will I get the 400 thousand I would need so I can start by June of next year? I don’t have properties that I can use as collateral for a loan. Besides, I have been taught that getting a loan is good only if one is expanding.

You would probably say: “find an investor”. Would you be interested? Will you invest in my business? Consider my background, my capabilities … Do you and will you trust me?

Then you would probably say: “find a relative who would be willing to lend you money”. Well, everybody is hard up these days. My relatives are also having financial difficulties. We’re practically on the same boat.

What else can I do? Do I have other options? You tell me now …


I believe the Lord has allowed that my husband and I experience financial challenges just like the majority of the members of the church, so that we will be in a much better position to help others who are in the same situation. But first we have to help ourselves.

If I, with all my knowledge, training, exposure, talents, attitude, network, experience, and skills, am having a very difficult time ‘FIRING!” how much more the others?

So to answer the question what kept me from “doing”?

BECAUSE OF FEAR!

I came to realize it was primarily because of fear. Fear of not having enough. And instead of trusting God to provide me with the things that I need, I trusted myself. I did not allow God to work miracles in my life; I relied on my own strength, my own decisions, my own talent and skills. I forgot about God’s promise to the faithful. My faith dwindled, and I was not conscious about it.

It was when I re-read the Book of Mormon Stories (the bed time story edition) that I found THE answer. As I read the stories (they were written just like all the bedtime stories we know … the reader’s imagination is brought to the actual events and one feels like one is actually there when the events happened … ) to my family during FHE’s and before I went to bed, I was reminded by God of the simplest of things … His commandments.

It is only when we follow the commandments of God, when we live righteously, that He fulfills his promise, of blessing us abundantly, that “there would not be enough room to receive it”. Just like the Nephites of old, we have to live righteously so that we will reap the blessings of abundance and prosperity.

Entrepreneurship, just like employment, is one of the many ways with which we can elevate ourselves from poverty. If we follow everything that we’ve been taught, there is a great chance that we will succeed in our business endeavors. We have been taught well by great teachers in the Academy.

And so I told my husband a few days back: I should have known better … If I am going through a lot now, obviously the reason is because I have not lived my life the way I should. I have not asked to Lord for guidance, for inspiration. I relied solely on my own knowledge. I have set my channel in the wrong frequency.

If I want to prosper, the Lord has given me the way to go about it. And surprisingly enough, His way is simple. If I want to be blessed abundantly, these are the things He expects from me:

• That I should read the scriptures daily, not as an obligation, but with a sincere desire to learn from those who have gone before me.

• That I should read the scriptures with my children. As their Mother, it is my sacred duty to bring them closer to God through the scriptures.

• That I should have regular personal prayer. Then I should help my husband and support him as he leads me and my children in family prayer.

• That I should help prepare and participate in Family Home Evening.

• That I pay an honest tithe.

• That I give a generous fast offering.

• That I keep the Sabbath Day Holy, no excuses, no justifications.

• That I honor the Priesthood.

• That I magnify my church callings.

• That I will strive to hold a current temple recommend and visit the temple regularly.

It is not that I did not do these things before. I did. But I did them out of obligation, because it was expected of me. I never went the extra mile.

For example, my prayers now have become private conversations with my Heavenly Father;

Now I enjoy reading the scriptures ... I look forward to reading them at night;

Now I enjoy telling my children stories from the Book of Mormon ... liken their experiences with the experiences of Nephi, Lehi, Sariah, Ammon, Alma, Helaman, Abinadi, and many others...

I know that just like those who came before us, I will be blessed if I will obey all of God’s commandments. He has given his promise; my challenge is to keep mine.

Now I know this to be true: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Then all these things shall be added unto you”.

I know now that I need not fear, that I can do anything, as long as the Lord is with me. I have forgotten about all these before, primarily because I began to look more into myself, rather than to God for help, guidance, and strength.

So for the last few days, I have been working on my business proposals. I have laid out the plans, made phone calls, did some inquiry, talked to my family about what I want to do in the next five years, how I want to go about it, what I want from them, and what I intend to do with them as my partners in this great and exciting undertaking.

My excitement has tripled. I can not wait to make it happen!

And the most important thing, the great difference? I'm doing it just like Nephi of old when he constructed the boat, I now rely on the Lord to help me make wise decisions. I have made him my partner ... Everything that I will do from now on, will always have him in mind. It will always be for his greater glory!

How about you? Do you know what your problems are? Do you know why up until now you still haven’t “fired” yet? Why you still have fears and doubts?

I wish you well, and I hope you will find your answers too!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Project: Whatsit Wednesday

Whatsit Wednesday is all about saying one sincere and honest compliment to two persons close to me ... for one whole year. This project will conclude on the 3rd Wednesday of August, 2010.

So for tomorrow, Wednesday, August 19, 2009:

1. On Romel: He is very smart! Why? I am amazed at the degree with which he knows almost everything, like its sooooo common sense to him, but not to me! Examples would be on topics such as management, business principles, psychology, even war strategies (from the book by Sun Tzu, the Art of War). Me? I have to do extensive research and read books and articles about it, and read them three or four times just so that I can sincerely say I have a firm grasp on what it means ...

And so we usually talk and discuss things, sometimes over lunch or dinner, at times before going to bed every single day. I usually start the conversation, tell him about my learnings during the day, share about some new amazing discoveries I've had (those AHA moments referred to by Oprah)while reading a book I just bought, or heard in the radio or in the news . Then we exchange thoughts on the subject matter, and then to my amazement, I always discover he knows about it already! Of course not perfectly to the letter, but mostly he knows the principles by heart.

He is THAT smart!

2. My daughter Myco: What can I say? She's smart too, just like her Dad! I read in her blog once how she defined herself based on her college degree. She jokingly described herself as a "jack of all trades, master of none"; about how her bachelors degree equipped her with a little something here and a little something there ... a little accountancy, a pinch of management, a dash of information management, a tiny bit of systems design, etc., etc,. I thought that was it, a negative description of herself and her skills. However, she continued by saying that that definition actually makes her "versatile", which is a positive thing. She's now getting her MIT, and i guess it would be safe to say she's smart enough to know what she wants and smart enough to know how to make it happen ... and more importantly, smart enough to have started working towards achieving them! If that's not smart, then what could it be?

See you again next Whatsit Wednesday guys!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

10 Fads You Just Don’t Get!

1. Emo.
2. Gothic.
3. Skinny jeans.
4. Bob Marley-like hairstyle
5. Body piercing, especially those in the tongue, the nose, the lips, the eyebrows, the cheeks, the nipples, etc …
6. Too much tattoos
7. Wearing rings in all ten fingers at the same time
8. Wearing too big headphones while walking in the street
9. Too large or big sunglasses that covers almost the whole face.
10. The wearing of flip flops anywhere and everywhere. Flip Flops is the popular term used to refer to these expensive slippers, each pair costing around 22 dollars for the least expensive to almost 65 dollars for the most expensive.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Ten on Tuesday


10 Favorite Sounds

1. All my children’s first cry at birth
2. Romelson’s giggle
3. Romel’s laugh
4. Raindrops in the windowpane
5. Sound of rushing water from rivers, brooks, and streams
6. Michael Buble’s voice
7. Karen Carpenter’s voice
8. Multilingual digital voice announcement system in airports
9. the sound of silence
10. My children’s voices when they call me “Mommy” as they arrive home

When we say to ourselves “Tama na!” do we really have the strength and will power to really do it? A reflection ...


When we say to ourselves “Tama na!” do we really have the strength and will power to really do it? A reflection on the example of the late President Cory Aquino …




As I and my family gathered around the television since this morning to witness a very important unfolding of tomorrow’s history … I can not help ask myself questions that I hope I can answer truthfully, not only for my sake, but for the sake of my children and their children’s children … my posterity … your posterity… our posterity.

“Tama na!” … this is a call for change made popular by Ma’am Cory, first shouted in the streets and aired via the media almost 25 years ago. With that in mind, I asked these questions:

• Where are we now?
• Did we heed the call for change?
• What have we done since then to make the called change happen?

I decided to change the questions into:

• Where am I now?
• Did I heed the call for change?
• What have I done since then to make the called change happen?

You see, I believe that change must start with me, because if there’s one thing I have that others can not and do not have control over, it is my freedom to choose to do right over wrong.

Many a times, it’s good to look at the forest first, then the trees. But to be most effective, I believe that we must look closely into the trees, to see the beauty of the forest. In like manner, change must start with us as individuals, in our roles as wives, mothers, daughters, etc. It’s inside going out, from individuals, then families, then communities, then the world. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to make”.

So I asked myself again the same questions, this time, more specifically …

• Am I a better wife to my husband?
• Am I a better Mom to my kids?
• How’s my relationship with my neighbors?
• Am I a good employee?
• Do I earnestly seek the good in others?
• Do I live the Golden Rule?
• Am I a contributing member of the society?


President Cory’s death happened, I am not so sure if this is the right term … in the best time, the right time. In a few months, national election will happen. I hope her death will inspire the whole Filipino nation to choose wisely this time. It is my hope that in spite of and despite the prevalent poverty in the country, Filipinos will opt not to sell their votes. That all of us will have the strength and will power to really mean the words “Tama na!”.

It is my hope and prayer that politicians will run for public office (this time) with pure intents in their heart to serve the public truthfully and honestly, to set aside their personal interests and place the interest of the people over and above their own.

For the younger generation, hopefully the phrase “Tama na” would propel you to be engaged in a good cause, to prepare yourselves to be the best that you can ever be. In so doing you will be able to make a difference by serving the people and the country through your talents and skills.

I told my husband as we were pondering on the situation the Philippines is in … how we as a nation and as a people hunger for anything that’s good. Manny Pacquiao’s achievement as a boxer has united us as a people. It is common knowledge that during his fights, crime rates turned to almost zero nationwide. We all shouted and cheered when he released his fists towards his opponent. When he was declared winner we shouted and rejoiced together. Even I, a non-boxing enthusiast, cried when he won, not because of him actually, but because I felt very proud at that moment, to be a Filipino.

Let’s do something this time, to really mean the words “Tama na!”. Let us vote wisely. Choose the best people who will really serve our country.

To those who are running for public office, please be honest and sincere. Intent to do good is not enough. Your actions, past and present, must speak for you. Talk about these when you campaign. Integrity is of vital importance. Respect is earned. Do you have these?

I believe we all will someday face the Lord, our maker. Surely, one of the questions He will ask us in the judgment seat is an accounting of what we have done during our mortal lives. It is my prayer that you and I will hear from the Lord the words... “Well done, thou good and faithful servant”.

I am honored to have witnessed the leadership of President Cory. And although her critics have not been kind to her when they said she failed in so many ways, from my heart my sincere gratitude to a life well lived, a leader worth emulating.

Leadership is not only about improving GDP, or increasing infrastructure projects, nor lowering national debts, or balancing budget deficits … Leadership is touching lives! She has touched mine, and my resolve is now stronger, to be better in everything that I do.

To Kris, don’t worry … it’s really not goodbye. You will see your Mom again. And when that time comes, it will be for time and all eternity!



mcic/aug2009