Keep the Love Alive ♥

Courtship does not end in the altar of marriage. It should only be the beginning. 

When was the last time you went out on a dinner date, just the two of you?

Most likely, if you have kids, and you’re working hard, going out on dates was a thing of the past. Besides, you always tell yourself the money could be used to pay for your bills.

Maybe you have a baby and you don’t have a baby sitter; or you simply don’t have enough time with all the work that needs to be done; maybe you’re too exhausted after having done all your laundry and house cleaning and cooking the whole day; or maybe you just don’t like nor see any significance of going out anymore. 

You should be alarmed!

Second to money issues, couples who take their spouses for granted are more likely to end up unhappy, miserable, then separated or divorced. This is because there is truth in the saying that if one can “fall in love”, one can also “fall out of love”. Hence, if you want to “stay in love”, you better do something about it!

To keep love burning, married couples have to take their commitment to marriage seriously. 

How?


Make romance a part of your continuous courtship efforts. 

Romance is a necessity and not a luxury, therefore it is essential to make romance a lifestyle. It can be fun and exciting, and just like all of the other aspects of marriage; it requires thoughtfulness, communication and attention from both parties involved.  

Here are 7 Tips on How to Nurture Romance in Your Relationship

1. A Romantic Picnic 

Get to know each other all over again! And do it with style! 


Use your imagination. Find an excuse to spend an evening together, just the two of you. 


Stop by a grocery on your way home from work: buy some "chichirya", or a pack of hopia, or potato chips (be sure to include dips like mayonnaise or cheeze whiz ;D),or fruits if you like. Pizza would be okay too! Then, once you get home, light some scented candles, load up the DVD or Mp3 player with some great jazz or your favorite love songs. Spend the evening dancing or simply talking like you may not have in a long time. 

2. Speak Love for 30 days (as a starter) 

Send a different sexy, loving message each day.  Mix it up. Send a text message one day, call the next day. 

3. Do Something New or Different Together 

Once a week or as often as you like, do something else, do something new and different, anything, as long as you do it together. You may, for example, give each other a foot massage. Take an evening walk. Take turns doing it. 

Or go on short vacations, just the two of you. 

4. "How Do I Love Thee?" or Try "Why Do I Love Thee?"  

Write each reason on a separate piece of paper. Put them in separate boxes and pull a different one each day, to brighten your day and remind you of your love for each other. You can secretly put these love notes in between his shirts, or on the table top for her as you leave to house for your office. Anywhere, as long as the element of surprise is there. It’ll surely bring a smile in your face, and will keep it there until he comes home from work.

5. Remember Letter's to Juliet? Never under estimate the power of a  Love Letter!

Write a love letter and share something you are really proud of your mate for. A few ideas you can write about are: an accomplishment, a selfless act of kindness, what you love the most and why. Ladies seal it with a kiss and a dash of his favorite perfume. Guys, a spritz of her favorite cologne will do. 

6. Read Together

Turn off the TV, computer and phones. Take turns reading poetry or anything that interests you both. Just be sure it’s not about someone killing somebody, or something that would invite negative vibes. In short, make sure your reading materials are inspiring and will bring in happy thoughts and feelings. 

7. Flower or Green Leafy Vegetables? 

There's a joke that goes around married couples. Early on in the courtship, would-be boyfriends shower the lady love flowers of every color imaginable. After marriage, things change. Husbands would say: "let's buy vegetables instead"! 


Of course this is just a joke. But hey! Inside every married woman, 17 to 99, is a lady and a girl ... who wants to feel she is special ... still.


So bring a different kind of flower home each day for 30 days. Trust me, it‘s not difficult.

  

What Makes a Mother a Mother?

I hope you're not confused with the question.

Really, what makes a mother a mother?

Oh, you carried each of your children in your womb for nine months, that makes you a mother all right!

You gave birth to all of them ... normal delivery!

Remember the pain when their heads "crowned"?

Or via CS, and you had to be careful for months because of your operation ...

Or you may be someone who did not literally nurture them in your womb

but nonetheless is a Mother to them in all other aspects ...

When they were small, you bathed them every single day,
until the time arrived when they could do it themselves.
 Then all you had to do was prepare the towels and the change of clothing ... and pray that they rinsed their hair well, or that they scrubbed their elbows and knees and heels ... 

You fed them every time they cry!
You either had to wash your "automatic baby bottle", if you know what i mean,
or you had to make sure that the bottles were sterilized ...
and the water was sterile ...
and the milk, that it's not too hot nor not cold ...

You had to hold the bottle while they sucked, which took a few minutes to an hour ...
sitting up so they won't choke
and watching and waiting till they're finished
so they won't suck in air
and suffer from colic pains.

You did this morning, noon, till night time
even when all the rest of the household are asleep;

Many times you find yourself alone in the house
carrying the baby everywhere
for you can't just leave him or her lying in your bed alone
while you try your best to do your chores at home
while he sleeps - which he does so irregularly ...
Remember the time call of nature came, and you just had to go?
You had to leave the door open so you can hear the baby ...

Day in and day out
you smell like sour cream or spoiled milk because you just did not have enough time
nor the motivation
to change your house dress into something more fashionable;
Who needs to be that trendy anyway? So you tell yourself!

You smell of "weweee" and of "pawis" and of "dul-ay" all mixed together.

As they grew older ...

 It was normally you who stayed late when the children were sick ...

When they started to crawl ... and as they took their first steps ...

When they fell off the chair, or the table, or the bed, or the stairs ...

You cleaned wounds on knees and elbows
kissed them with your lips
whispered sweet assurances so your children will know
the pain will soon be gone...

You sang to them all sorts of songs, English or Visayan
written or invented (hah!)

You recited the alphabet with them ...

Told them stories - true and make-believe ...

Taught them how to fold their socks, how to tie their shoe laces, how to tuck in their shirts ...

You woke up early to prepare their breakfast, iron their uniforms, shine their shoes ...
Simultaneously while cleaning the house and preparing yourself
so you can bring them to school on time,
and wait for them outside their classrooms when they were in Nursery, Kinder 1, Kinder 2 ... Praying that they will participate ... cooperate ... and stay awake ... and not quarrel with their classmates;

You took time to face teachers during Parent-Teacher Conferences ...
took in wholeheartedly reports of them misbehaving in school ...
of your boy reading his favorite book during classes;
or your daughter punching the class bully in his nose
(and you find yourself silently saying to yourself ...
YES! that's, that's my girl!) 

and a million other things you did (and still do even today)

... day in and day out ...

What makes a Mother a Mother?

All these and so much more ...

The sacrifices, the heartaches, the fears, the excitements, the worries, the anxieties ...

the joy, the happiness ...

and a million other things that make you as you are ...

Selfless ... 

Sacrificing ...

Hoping ...

Praying ...

Who fed me from her gentle breast;

And hushed me in her arms to rest;

And on my cheek sweet kisses prest?

My Mother."

~Anne Taylor

♥Evelyn and Leila ♥

OfnRain ... Friends ... Family ... and Pure Happiness ...

Yesterday ...

It rained so hard we didn't have anywhere else to go but inside the cultural hall. 

Lightning and thunder roared loudly outside. A few of the kids found delight in it. Some attempted to get themselves wet in the rain. 

But not Andrie. He hugged his Mama tight. 

So finally we decided to get inside the hall, otherwise we'd get ourselves soaked wet.

The cultural hall was like heaven ... bright lights, clean floors, and it was dry!

So in we went, like cattle finally finding refuge from heavily pouring rain.

Inside the cultural hall, the primary kids were there -


ages ranging from less than 1 year to 11 (they had an activity the whole afternoon);

the RS sisters were there (we had an activity);

the youth were there (they too, had activities);

 the Primary leaders were there (they just finished their leadership meeting);

the men adult leaders were there (some presided over meetings earlier in the afternoon, the others nanglimpyo sila sa chapel with the YM) ...

But here's the catch: we all were talking at the same time!

And to top that, the young children were all shouting.




After a few minutes, someone started to cry ...


It was either Handsome Ecko or Quick Smart Andrei ...

Mikki and Lalai were laughing together with Josh and Alecs and Jay and Ether and Drian and Arjun ...

Children were RUNNING AROUND everywhere... going that way, or this way, or round and round and round...

Then add to that some more the youth playing badminton in the middle of the hall ...

O'neil, Dave, and other young men were practicing dance moves in one corner ...


Zsanine was seated with other young women watching everything ...

On the far end, on the stage, a few young men and a number of leaders were playing table tennis ...

Yes, there was noise ... even too much noise! 

What with all the crying Ecko and Andrei did when they were fighting - first- for the shuttle cock;

and then later on for the ball ... 3rd and fourth and fifth ... for the same reasons, over and over again ... and again hahaha!

WHAT AN AWESOME SATURDAY THAT WAS FOR ALL OF US ! ♥

Silently, as i looked, listened, and took everything in, I came to appreciate what it really meant to belong ... ♥♥♥

to have friends ... ♥♥♥

the challenges, the pains, but most of all - JOY - of having children and Motherhood... ♥♥♥

the beauty of church service ...

The privilege of serving in the church ...

I looked at Dottie, and Goldy, and Jen ...

at Mikmic, and Omega, and Neneng

How grateful I am to have sisters in the church -  friends to talk to and laugh with ♥♥

I looked at all the children present ...

I looked at my own kids: Myco who was having fun taking pictures ...

Ella who was guiding Mikki and the other primary children ...

April who just finished a full day of practice with her church and school friends ...

Sarah who just came in with her Dad ...

Romelson who was with the other young men ...

Then I looked at Joel and Carlo

and Bishop Sacay ...  

and finally, at Romel ...

I smiled and said a silent prayer ...

Grateful that we have a Heavenly Father who really loves us ...

He ... ever so mindful ... forgiving ...

and I thanked Him for good friends to grow with in this life ♥♥♥ 

The Smell of Rain

At  the end of this story, it gives you two options. I think you will figure  out what option I chose.

******************************************************************************

A  cold March wind danced around the dead of night in Dallas as the doctor  walked into the small hospital room of Diana Blessing. She was still  groggy from surgery.

Her  husband, David , held her hand as they braced  themselves  for the latest  news. That afternoon of March 10, 1991, complications had  forced  Diana, only  24-weeks pregnant, to undergo an emergency  Cesarean to  deliver couple's new daughter, Dana  Lu Blessing.

 At 12 inches  long and weighing only one pound nine ounces, they already knew she was  perilously premature..

Still, the  doctor's soft words dropped like bombs.

'I  don't think she's going to make it,' he said, as kindly as he could. 

'There's  only a 10-percent chance she will live through the  night, and even  then, if by some slim chance she does make  it, her future  could be a very cruel one'


Numb  with disbelief, David and Diana listened as the doctor described the  devastating problems Dana would likely face if she  survived.



She would  never walk, she would never talk, she would  probably be  blind, and she would certainly be prone to other catastrophic conditions  from cerebral palsy to  complete mental  retardation, and on and on.

'No! No!'  was all Diana could say.

She and  David , with their 5-year-old son Dustin, had long dreamed of the day they  would have a daughter to become a family of four.

Now, within  a matter of hours, that dream  was slipping  away

But  as those first days passed, a new agony set in for  David and Diana.  Because Dana 's underdeveloped nervous system was  essentially  'raw', the lightest kiss or caress only  intensified her  discomfort, so they couldn't even cradle their tiny baby girl against  their chests to offer the strength of their love. All they could do, as  Dana  struggled  alone beneath the ultraviolet light in the tangle of tubes and wires, was  to pray that God would stay close to their precious little girl.

There was never a moment when Dana suddenly grew  stronger.

But  as the weeks went by, she did slowly gain an ounce  of  weight  here and an ounce of strength there.
  At  last, when Dana turned two months old. her parents were able to hold her  in their arms for the very first time. 
 And  two  months later, though doctors continued to gently  but  grimly  warn that her chances of surviving, much less living any kind of normal  life, were next to zero, Dana went home from the hospital, just as her  mother had predicted.
Five  years later, when Dana was a petite but feisty young girl with glittering  gray eyes and an unquenchable zest for life.

She  showed no signs whatsoever of any mental or  physical  impairment. Simply, she was everything a little  girl  can be and more. But that happy ending is far from the end of her  story.

One  blistering afternoon in the summer of 1996 near  her  home  in Irving , Texas , Dana was sitting in her mother's  lap  in  the bleachers of a local ball park where her brother Dustin's baseball  team was practicing.

As always, Dana was chattering nonstop  with her mother and several other   adults  sitting nearby, when she suddenly fell  silent . Hugging  her arms across her chest, little Dana asked,  'Do  you smell that?'  Smelling  the air and detecting the approach of a  thunderstorm,  Diana replied, 'Yes, it smells like rain.'

Dana closed her  eyes and again asked, 'Do you smell that?'

Once  again, her mother replied,  'Yes,  I think we're about to get wet. It smells like rain.'

Still  caught in the moment, Dana shook her head, patted her thin shoulders with  her small hands and loudly announced,

'No, it smells like  Him.   It  smells like God when you lay your head on His chest.'

Tears  blurred Diana's eyes as Dana happily hopped down to play with the other  children.

Before the rains came, her daughter's words  confirmed what Diana and all the members of the extended Blessing family  had known, at least in their hearts, all along.

During  those long days and nights of her first two  months  of  her life, when her nerves were too sensitive for them  to  touch  her, God was holding Dana on His chest and it is His loving scent that she  remembers so well.

Mama's Lullabys ...

Looking back and remembering every word and every melody, I can not help but feel gratitude for this wonderful gift my Mama has given me. 

I have sang these melodies to all my five children, to my nephews and nieces, to my friends' children when I was taking care of them, and now, absurd as it may seem, even to our pet dog Nessie ♥

Here's one simple song that I will forever remember and treasure.

A word though ... I do not really know where my Mama got these songs, or the other lullaby's she sang to us, but surely, whenever she sang or hummed them to my sisters Charry and Carla then, my eyes would close because of the feeling it brought to my heart.

"Ang Batang Buotan"

Ang batang buotan,

Garbo sa ginikanan

Sa sugo sila motuman

sa walay langan langan.

Dili maghilak

og dili magmanya

ang batang buotan

palangga sa ginikanan.

The words can be replaced ... to make it more fitting,  i guess.

For instance, way back then I would, at times, change "ginikanan" with "Mommy" (because that's what my children call me) ...

When the kids were young, Romel also sang the lullaby ... he changed 'Ginikanan" with "Daddy" ...

Funny because I didn't really realize that he knew the song. I now realize that by hearing me sing it then, he became familiar with the songs.

Here's another one:

"Rosas sa Hardin"

May rosas sa hardin,

gitanum ni Quintin;

makawagtang sa kalaay,

sa dughan maglipay.

Ang iyang katahum,

wala nay makatupong;

maanindot, maanindot

sa kanunay.

Of all the lullaby's though, the one I remember the most is Dandansoy.

I remember very vividly, every time Mama would sing it to my younger sister Charry, Charry would cry ...

Maybe because the song is about leaving someone behind. Maybe in Charry's mind then, Mama was literally saying goodbye, hence the tears (would you believe as I am writing this and recalling the words/lyrics, I too am crying?).

"Dandansoy"

Dandansoy, biyaan ko ikaw.

Pauli ako sa Payaw.

Kun galing, ikaw hidlawon,

ang Payaw, imo lang lantawon.

(I am not really sure if the lyrics are correct, but that is how I remember the song ...)

Last but not the least of Mama's lullabys is the song composed by Tito Vic Barreto entitled Kudyapi.
Mama used to sing this when she was still with PANAMIN.
The words may not be perfect, but still, it's how I remember it.

"Kudyapi"

Give me my kudyapi,

for I will sing a song;

for my beloved Bukidnon,

where life begins, and ends for us.

Give me my saluray,

for I will play a tune;

for my beloved Bukidnon,

who cares and lives for us.

Music beats deep within my heart,

the call of birds and falling rains;

the sound of living forest,

becomes a melody.

Come now my dearest one,

rest and forget your fears;

for my beloved Bukidnon,

.... (now I have forgotten the last part ... )

Oh the beauty and blessing of parenthood!

Though it's so unfortunate that there's no formal school for parenthood,

and that we only "learn the ropes" as we go-

Suffice it to say that with all the heartaches and pains and hard work involved;

Bearing and rearing children is still the most rewarding of all the undertaking there is in the world.

To Mama, thank you very much!
We live so close but we seldom see each other. This makes me so sad.
Work and family duties keep me on my toes most of the time, and so mostly, when I miss you, I just think of you and sing your songs ... and of course send you a text message or two.
I love you Ma, and I know no amount of words will be enough to make you feel how much I truly do.
I LOVE YOU ♥♥♥

And so even now, when my children are grown up and they don't really need me to sing to them anymore,
I still sing these lullabys to them ... to remind me of so many wonderful things in my childhood -
the warmth of my Mama's embrace ... the feeling of safety and security .. of being loved ...
My hope is to pass on to them something that is of great worth -
for soon they too will become mothers, and Romelson a father.
I sincerely hope when that time comes, as they hold close their children, they will remember me ... and what I taught them.

More importantly, they will remember how much I love them. ♥